Happiness

I've gotten used to the stares in the grocery store. Yes, I know he's spitting on his leg (licking the cart, biting the box of fruit snacks, etc). I'm ignoring it because it will cause a bigger scene if I try to make him stop. It's not a discipline problem. He's not spoiled. He's not misbehaving. He's not seeking attention. He is autistic. Garrett was diagnosed with severe Autism Spectrum Disorder and a 50% global developmental delay at 21 months. There is no cure, only therapy and biomedical treatments to help him function a little better. Raising a child with Autism isn't easy. Garrett is two and a half years old and doesn't speak. This comes with it's own set of challenges and questions. I have no idea what he wants most of the time because he doesn't point. He just recently started taking me to things that he wants. Up to 50% of children with Autism have difficulty acquiring language and 14% are unable to speak by age 9. Garrett is hypo-s...

A picture of the kind of flowers I received this past week. April is Poetry Month and Autism Awareness month. Tomorrow I will have a guest post about her experience raising an autistic son. Today I would like to post a poem that I wrote and what I have learned from baby Rose. Baby Rose I love you You are part of my life- You always will be Your sweetness of Life. The hopes and dreams And joys I felt Will never be forgotten. I love you. What I learned from Baby Rose: She helped me: -Find a good Dr. who cares about me as a person- not one who puts me in a category and shuts the box. -Speak to Molly openly about baby Char Char. -Feel the love and support from family and friends like my Mom, Molly, Larissa, Amy, Christine, Shellie, Ellen, Adele, Melissa, Jen, Emily, Janie, Shauna, Emily W., the kids teachers at school and last but not least, Josh. - Feel surrounded by His love, literally. -Make a new friend- Jaelle. -Learn about othe's experiences and stories. -Be more patient and unde...

In between taking my kids to have a letter in Spanish edited and driving Elizabeth to piano lessons, we made a quick stop at McDonalds. Let me preface this story with the fact that we hardly EVER go to McDonalds. Josh hates it. I love it. I don't know why. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones that are still circulating around in my body. It must be. I only crave McDonalds when I'm pregnant. When I'm not, I'll eat it and think "gross!" When I am, I eat it and think "I have died and gone to heaven!" Seriously! So, we drive up and order 3 hamburgers, 1 cheesburger, 1 double cheeseburger (for me), fries and a water. From a man. We get to the window and...it's a girl! Long hair, lots of make-up, tons of jewelry! He/She says in a deep voice "That will be $6.75 please." The kids are yelling in the back: "Is that a boy or a girl?" I try to ignore them. Elizabeth: "Mom, is that a boy or a girl?" (very slowly) M...

Jonah, the T and the Coach Smile, Ethan! Ethan is #10 and Jonah is #2 After the game: Ethan and Jonah! I can no longer call the twins the boys. Asher informed me that "the boys" means "Ethan, Jonah AND Asher" so, the boys are not doing T-ball: the twins are. Although, when I was growing up (since I am also a twin) I hated being put into a category such as "the twins". I felt that I lost my own identity somehow. So, we will not be calling the boys the twins. We will be calling them I don't know what. All I know is that it won't be the twins. It will probably be: the-boys-but-not-Asher. The-boys-but-not-Asher are in t-ball. A friend from the ward called and asked us if Ethan and Jonah wanted to play along with her son. She was lonely and needed someone to talk to during the hour and a half games each Saturday for eight Saturdays, plus practices. We had been wanting to put the-boys-but-not-Asher into something for a while, so I jumped at the chance. T...

I am glad to have decided to do a D and C. I have heard that going naturally is a lot more painful and the waiting for it to happen is really hard also. I've recovered pretty well. I'm really tired a lot and fall asleep at random times, like 4:30 in the afternoon. Today I took a nap at 10:30 am and then again at 6:30 pm. I guess my body is just recovering. I was depressed on Saturday, when I wasn't able to go to my 5k run that I had been training for. Oh, well. I'm going to find another run this summer to go to. Today we were watching home videos from when I was pregnant with the boys. We talked about this baby a little and Elizabeth said "I don't care if the baby (next one) is a boy or girl. I just want a baby." Me too. Looks like we all learned an important lesson this time. I was also thinking of a beautiful name for the baby, but wasn't sure if it fit with the last name Abbott, so I was planning on naming the baby Rose. If the next one is a girl, I...

We just found out this week that Josh's brother Ben is engaged! He is getting married in August to Barbara Harvey- whom he baptized in February. We are all very excited for him and are especially glad that she designs costumes and sets and is in Ben's field of theater. Congrats, guys! We, as a whole family probably won't be able to make it, since we live in the East and are making a trip out there from June 17-26th, but at least we'll get to meet her! Josh will be there for sure! Yay for Ben and Babs! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott. p.s. The best thing about getting engaged in 2010 is that there is facebook and now there are 705 pictures of Babs that I can check out before I even meet her! Exciting, huh? p.p.s. Check out the previous post to learn more about why I love Asher!

Sorry about the previous blog post- my friend is working on the size of my pictures for my blog. My brother David did the template and colors recently. I love it! On to Asher. I talk about Asher a lot because he is my littlest one right now and the one I spend the most time with. I am with him mostly from 8:30-3 pm while everyone else is at school. I've never had the chance to have just one child at home before and let me just tell you- it's lovely. You really get to know the person and even become best friends. Well, as much as a Mother and child can be. I love being a Mom and I love being a Mom to Asher (and my other kids!) I love how he opens the door in the morning and runs out of the room, yelling "Good Morning!" almost every morning. If he's woken up in the night, sometimes he just rubs his eyes and stands there, but most of the time he is quite the morning person. He says "What are we having for cereal?" He loves cereal and if we are having oatmea...

Jonah, you are my Man! I love how you have such a sweet and tender personality. I am so glad we named you Jonah instead of Ethan. Jonah just goes with who you are. You are kind, loving, sweet, willing to go along with whatever we ask you to do (usually). You do so well in school. You pay attention to tiny details and this helps you learn faster. You are reading on a level 5 right now and are excited to go to summer school again this year. You loved a book about how the lizard lost his tail. You thought it was hilarious! You love rocket cards and when you saw one in the store, you begged me to buy it. You love robots and have been asking for one for two years now. Mommy has been a slacker, but she finally found one for you! You'll be so excited when you get it on your birthday. Hopefully Ethan won't be upset- there was only one. Jonah, we love you! Thank you for being in our family! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott. Happy Birthday to my Mom today!!! Have a great one! And...

Well, I feel a little loopy now, but I'm back home safe and sound. Today was my scheduled D & C. Ellen drove me around up to Frederick Memorial Hospital (that's where my Dr. works) around 9 am in the rain. I signed in and sat down and longingly read Cooking Light, as I couldn't eat anything since last night. After sitting down for five minutes, all the lights went out. It was pretty scary. They flickered on and off again and came back on halfway with the Generator. People started talking and someone said "Let the government fix it." Hee hee. It scary to be getting ready for surgery and have the electricity go out! They called my number and couldn't give me any paperwork since the computers were down, but sent me to the surgery desk anyways. I gues someone had a car accident and hit a pole. It was out for two hours. Pretty crazy. Let me tell you about hospitals. I generally dislike them. I don't like the sterile walls, the smells, the sights, the sound...

Ethan is 5 1/2- almost 6. He turns 6 in a month. And is way excited about it. "How many days until my birthday?" He asks me often. "A lot" I reply. I can't tell him exactly how many because he will hold me to it. Last year I told him "33" then the next day I just randomly said "30" He said "What? 30 days? Yesterday is was 33!" I didn't realize he was actually keeping track. Now I just say 4 t-ball games. It's easier to count that way. By the way, the boys are doing t-ball and they love it. They run around and hit the ball pretty well, coming from a non-sports family. They left their mitts at the field the other day and I hurriedly bought them new ones right before their first game. So now, we own four baseball mitts. I guess we have four childre, so that's okay. Ok. On to Ethan. Ethan loves money. He hoards it, counts it, wants to go to the store and spend it. Currently he has a plastic bag of money in his sock drawer. T...

Elizabeth is 7 1/2 now and she knows it. She is loving life and all that it entails: glasses, friends, a boy she has a crush on (ssshh! don't tell- it's a secret!), reading, math, learning to ride a bike (as of last week), etc. She was so excited for us to be having a new baby. She would put her hands on my tummy and say "How big is the baby now, Mom?" She loves learning the Articles of Faith and was "this close" to passing off the fifth one last Sunday. If she has them all memorized by the end of this year, she will have beaten me in how early she has learned them! Yay for Primary for encouraging the kids. Elizabeth has a love/hate relationship with the boys. They tend to love to make her fret and she gives in to them. They will run in to her room inbetween getting dressed and she will squeal and yell. They do teach her fun things though- like how to climb a tree and catch bugs. She is a star pupil in school and is "a joy to have in the classroom....

Kristen took this picture of me when I visited her last May. Thanks, Kristen! Here's what a manic Monday looks for me: Wake up, get the kids up and fed Make lunches, make sure Asher gets dressed, Start laundry, Shower, Read Book of Mormon for five minutes and write in journal. Check e-mail, Head to This is The Place Bookstore, in search of the New Testament Book of Mormon Reader since we just finished the Old Testament one. Get there at 9:20 after morning rush traffic. Discover it opens at 10 am. Walk over to the nearby nursery, browse and buy some peat pots, a shovel for Asher and bird seed. Head over to the little convenient store and buy a banana for Asher and a Moon Pie for me. Return to This is the Place and eat said banana and not-as-good-as-I-imagined-it Moon Pie. Browse Bookstore and pick up 2 birthday presents for the boys (savings banks), a dvd and no New Testament Readers- they were all sold out! Drive home and Asher falls asleep. It's 11 am. Aah! Phone Josh and tell...

Our Azaleas are blooming once again! So, I'm pregnant. Or, not. I still have lots of pregnancy symptoms- waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, not being able to sleep, cravings for foods like pink grapefruit and Pioneer Woman's grilled cheese sandwich with provolone, cheddar, red onion, green chilies, tomato and spicy mustard. That's one crazy sandwich but I have eaten like five of them in the past two weeks. But, I'm not. There is no little baby growing inside of me- it has stopped growing. I can't tell people we are expecting, because we are not. And I feel like I can't complain. This is just what happens in life. Things like this happen in life, right? I just didn't think it would happen to me. It was out of the realm of posibility for me. I was naive. Now I know. And will be more cautious then next time. Oh, and the pregnancy dreams keep coming. The other night I dreamed that I was Jewish, stuck in a box with a German, who kept pokin...

So, after the Ultrasound was done, out popped a small picture from the printer. You know- those black and white pictures on thin paper that show the baby. "Oh! I get a picture?" I said. "You want to keep this?" the Dr. asked in surprise. I mean yes, the baby didn't really form. And yes, it wasn't going to make it. But it was still my baby. The one I would have around Nov. 15th. The one I would take pictures of and send as Christmas Announcements. The one that would share a room with Elizabeth and use Asher's old crib (and old binkies, as he told me.) The one I would name Rose- if it was a girl. The one I may still name Rose. I have been going back and forth from going naturally, to having a D and C. Josh's sister told it may take 3 weeks to happen. I leave for Utah for Womens Conference in two. I just can't bring myself to go through with a D and C. Yet. It's too final for me, just right now. Even if I still have pregnancy symptoms- like waki...

I find a lot of comfort and strength from reading The Book of Mormon . Today I was reading in Alma 17 and came across this verse: "10 And it came to pass that the Lord did visit them with his Spirit, and said unto them: Be comforted. And they were comforted." I love how this scripture is direct and bold and I can relate to it. Many times I have gone to the Lord in prayer- confused and torn, hurting or in need and I have felt comforted. I am so grateful for the power of prayer, for the power of the scriptures that brings those moments back to my memory and for the Holy Ghost which comforts and sustains me in times of need. This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

I just got back from the Dr. To fully understand what is going on, let me start a week ago... It was 11 am. I was 8 weeks pregnant and this was my first Dr. visit. They did an ultrasound to check the heartbeat, the due date and if there are any multiples. The ultrasound tech turned to me and said "I don't see a heartbeat." My world stopped. What do you mean you don't see a heartbeat? There's a baby in there, right? What do you mean? It's as if she was speaking another language. Those words. "I don't see a heartbeat." brought no joy. No excitement. Nothing. Only sadness and fear and confusion. Why is this happening? What is going on? Why? They recommended a D and C. Soon. Unless I want a second opinion. I did. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Not yet. I spent two hours at the hospital and they said it was too early to tell- I was measuring 5 wks 6 days and they are shocked that a D and C was recommended. I waited a week. That week was really lo...

I've been manic. My Counselor Joe told me to just enjoy it. Enjoy being happy and full of energy, as long it doesn't explode on me. Yesterday it exploded. I was so full of energy that I had to get out of the house. I had to. I had already bathed the kids (well half of them-Josh did the other half), made cinnamon rolls, went for a walk with the family and I was ready to get out! It was 11 am and there was an Open House for a home right next to the temple down in D.C. Now, we are not in the market for a home. Far from it. (Let's just say we bought our home in 2007 shall we?) But right after we moved here and I made a trip to the temple, I fell in love with five houses with a beautiful view of the temple. They are on a busy street, so not kid friendly but I was dying to see inside one of those homes! Especially after spending months looking for a home, these homes looked amazing! Long story short, I went- it was locked. I looked in the windows and in the back yard. I loved it,...

The Church has a new website designed to help people with with p*rnography issues. It's: www.combatingpornography.org/cp/eng . I love how much help our Church provides to people who need it! Finally something online that can help fight the bad stuff online! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

Happy Birthday, Josh! Thank you for working so hard for our family- shoveling many feet of snow this year, going to work early in the morning, coming home late, working on weekends- oh, wait- this is a birthday post! Happy Birthday, Babe! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

Give Away at Epicurean Style! Two matching Mother/Daughter aprons! Check it out at: epicureanstyle.typepad.com ! She is the wife of one of my friends from college. So stylin'! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

I got a phone call from findtoto.org . I guess our neighbor lost their dog and through this website, you can call everyone in your neighborhood and tell them to be on the lookout for your dog. So, if you see a black lab colie mix that goes by the name Taffy,give me a call- I know where his owner is. Pretty cool idea, right? www.sugardoodle.net is a neat website that has lots of ideas for Church related things. I like their ideas for Activity Days, since I help out with that. Tonight we are learning about budgeting and playing a game. todayscreativeblog.blogspot .com A little creativity for you! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

I just got back from the Dr. To fully understand what is going on, let me start a week ago... It was 11 am. I was 8 weeks pregnant and this was my first Dr. visit. They did an ultrasound to check the heartbeat, the due date and if there are any multiples. The ultrasound tech turned to me and said "I don't see a heartbeat." My world stopped. What do you mean you don't see a heartbeat? There's a baby in there, right? What do you mean? It's as if she was speaking another language. Those words. "I don't see a heartbeat." brought no joy. No excitement. Nothing. Only sadness and fear and confusion. Why is this happening? What is going on? Why? They recommended a D and C. Soon. Unless I want a second opinion. I did. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Not yet. I spent two hours at the hospital and they said it was too early to tell- I was measuring 5 wks 6 days and they are shocked that a D and C was recommended. I waited a week. That week was really lo...

It's Josh's birthday on Friday. He turns 31! Just so you know! It's 89 degrees right now and will probably get to 97 degrees this afternoon! I feel peppy and happy! It may be the weather, or it may be a little bit of mania. Or it may be the dark chocolate, carmel filled giradhelli chocolate square I ate after lunch. Or maybe a combination of all three. I had three dr. visits in three days: Monday,-Dr. Kim,my psych for a check up and because I couldn't sleep for awhile there. Tuesday, OB. Wednesday-Joe, my counselor, who gives me wonderful counsel. I have been seeing him for a year and a half now and from now on will just call or e-mail him if I need anything. It's kind of sad to stop seeing him- I love going to counseling and just talking for an hour non stop to someone. From now on my journal will be the one I talk to. Plus, journaling is FREE. This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

Well, Spring Break 2010 is almost at an end. The kids return to school tomorrow, after 7 full days off and I return to a more normal routine. I do have to say that I will miss these kids! Yes, it is loud and crazy and wild when they are hope, but I like that- in short amounts! For Spring Break this year we went grocery shopping, learned the art of splitting big pieces of pizza from Sams Club, played at the play place of the gym,saw gorillas and tigers at the National Zoo, hunted for eggs at an Easter party, took a walk around the tidal basin during Cherry Blossom season, saw the play Flat Stanley, and spent most of the day at our Aunt and Uncle's while Mom was at the doctors. We had tons of fun! Oh, and we did a little homework too- just a little. This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

We had a good Easter this year! Blogger is doing something funny since it won't show my pictures as pictures when I write the blog, so I'll write everything and then put the pictures at the end. We went to an Easter party on Friday at the Church playgroup and the kids had fun. Asher took off and gathered 20 eggs right away, even though they were only supposed to find 12! Elizabeth helped hide the eggs and Ethan and Jonah had fun looking and taking their time.Saturday we dyed eggs, had an egg hunt inside and watched General Conferece. The Easter Bunny hid "Spicy" jelly beans this year and I have found a few chewed up and spit into the trash. Next year he'll have to buy the regular or Starburst ones.Easter was pretty good. I planned it in my head perfectly and of course, it didn't really go that way. Elizabeth pouted during the taking of pictures in their Easter clothes because Jonah got in the picture, or something like that. I ate too much sugar that morning (...

In one short day it is General Conference time. For those of you who don't know, I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, otherwise known as the Mormon Church. I was born into the Church. My Mom became a Convert in her 20's and my Dad comes from a long line of faithful members, including pioneers and a member of the 70's. I have almost always had a very strong testimony of the truthfulness of the Church and it's Gospel. I served an eighteen month mission at the age of 21 in Bilbao, Spain and I loved sharing the Book of Mormon with others in a different country and in a different language. One of the hardest things I have ever had to go through is the Depression I went through from March 2008 to March 2009 when I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar. It rocked my testimony. I felt guilty daily and constantly wondered at my status in the eyes of my Heavenly Father. I am here to tell you that although I know that my trials are not over, or far from it, it has be...

Happy April Fools Day! I froze the kids milk last night. This morning they thought it was really weird. Here are some fun sites and blogs that I enjoy: www.familyfun.com A fun site with recipes, crafts and ideas for kids www.martawrites.blogspot.com A blog I found- really cute. http://grandparentstlc.com/blog/ This is by a guy in the ward and he does some neat stuff. We need to skype the Grandparents more often! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.