Happiness

Today the kids had off school, so we headed down to D.C. to see the Japanese Cherry Blossoms in full bloom. In light of the earthquake, D.C. has taken clippings from the trees and sent them back to Japan- in hopes of growing new trees and keeping these trees alive. Here's the Washington Monument and the blossoms. The family at the Cherry Blossoms, 2011. Jonah, Ethan, Asher and Elizabeth Me, my coat, and Ethan. It was freezing! Josh, decked out for the weather! The day started early. We drove down at 6:30 am, with breakfast on laps. It was drizzly and cold. When I saw someone's breath come out in great puffs of white, I knew it would be cold. We were chilly and damp, but I got some good pictures and the kids love making the drive down to D.C. to see the sights. I couldn't help but think of when we were here last year and I was pregnant and how a week later, I had found out that I had miscarried and not known it. I was sad, yet hopeful for the future. Recently I went off lit...

This is a re-post of the post I wrote when I had my first miscarriage at 8 weeks, this past April. It's been six and a half months since then. I apologize for the bad grammar. I don't think I was thinking very clearly. Everything was a jumble of hormones and misplaced dreams at that time in my life. My miscarriage Here's to all those Mothers out there who are mourning the loss of their babies, no matter what age. Here's to you, Molly- you lost your baby at 16 months old. We love you and Charlotte and remember both of you on this special day. This is my blog. My name is Megan A.

I've been really interested in the blogs lately where the Mother has had a miscarriage lost a baby even later on in the pregnancy. I read a sweet story yesterday of a lady who has two boys and lost her baby Maggie at 31 weeks in the pregnancy. They recently celebrated her first birthday and it was so sweet. It made me cherish the moments that I have with my dear sweet children more. As I sang Jonah a good night song and stroked his beautiful blonde hair, these are the words that came to me, thinking of dear sweet baby Rose who I lost at 8 weeks: "The other night dear, while I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken. And I held my head and cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." After I sang this and thought of her, I remember another Mom mentioning on her blog the same song and the same feeling. I know how...

A picture of the kind of flowers I received this past week. April is Poetry Month and Autism Awareness month. Tomorrow I will have a guest post about her experience raising an autistic son. Today I would like to post a poem that I wrote and what I have learned from baby Rose. Baby Rose I love you You are part of my life- You always will be Your sweetness of Life. The hopes and dreams And joys I felt Will never be forgotten. I love you. What I learned from Baby Rose: She helped me: -Find a good Dr. who cares about me as a person- not one who puts me in a category and shuts the box. -Speak to Molly openly about baby Char Char. -Feel the love and support from family and friends like my Mom, Molly, Larissa, Amy, Christine, Shellie, Ellen, Adele, Melissa, Jen, Emily, Janie, Shauna, Emily W., the kids teachers at school and last but not least, Josh. - Feel surrounded by His love, literally. -Make a new friend- Jaelle. -Learn about othe's experiences and stories. -Be more patient and unde...

Our Azaleas are blooming once again! So, I'm pregnant. Or, not. I still have lots of pregnancy symptoms- waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, not being able to sleep, cravings for foods like pink grapefruit and Pioneer Woman's grilled cheese sandwich with provolone, cheddar, red onion, green chilies, tomato and spicy mustard. That's one crazy sandwich but I have eaten like five of them in the past two weeks. But, I'm not. There is no little baby growing inside of me- it has stopped growing. I can't tell people we are expecting, because we are not. And I feel like I can't complain. This is just what happens in life. Things like this happen in life, right? I just didn't think it would happen to me. It was out of the realm of posibility for me. I was naive. Now I know. And will be more cautious then next time. Oh, and the pregnancy dreams keep coming. The other night I dreamed that I was Jewish, stuck in a box with a German, who kept pokin...

So, after the Ultrasound was done, out popped a small picture from the printer. You know- those black and white pictures on thin paper that show the baby. "Oh! I get a picture?" I said. "You want to keep this?" the Dr. asked in surprise. I mean yes, the baby didn't really form. And yes, it wasn't going to make it. But it was still my baby. The one I would have around Nov. 15th. The one I would take pictures of and send as Christmas Announcements. The one that would share a room with Elizabeth and use Asher's old crib (and old binkies, as he told me.) The one I would name Rose- if it was a girl. The one I may still name Rose. I have been going back and forth from going naturally, to having a D and C. Josh's sister told it may take 3 weeks to happen. I leave for Utah for Womens Conference in two. I just can't bring myself to go through with a D and C. Yet. It's too final for me, just right now. Even if I still have pregnancy symptoms- like waki...