Happiness

This blog has always been a place where I have felt that I can go to, to express my feelings, to talk about things that are important with me, to share what is going on in my life and in the life of my family. As I share this post, please read with an open and kind heart. Yesterday I found out that one of my friends who I was in the out-patient program of the Hospital last year committed suicide this summer. Background: when you are in a program at the Hospital you get to know a lot about everyone there and become really close to them.It's almost like AA. You are struggling, they are struggling and you work together to work this thing out. When one succeeds, their success is your success as well. When one falters, you pick them up again and move on together. It is hard time in your life- going through Depression or Mania and to be at the point where nothing can help you except the help of medical professionals at the Hospital. During my 3 weeks as an out-patient on the Mental Healt...

with blogs, that I even have a blog with my whole name in the web address, and I didn't even remember that I ever made that one up. Crazy! www.megan-abbott.blogspot.com I may just have my Dad's poor memory. He doesn't remember a lot from growing up and I can never remember things like if I've seen a movie or not. I kid you not, I'll come home from the library with a DVD and say to Josh "I just found this cool DVD! What do you think?" and he'll respond "Uh, we watched that last weekend." Just kidding! So he won't say last weekend, but he'll say we saw that- like last year. The best one was when I thought about putting "Failure to Launch" in my Netflix Que just the other day. Then I remembered- No, I've seen that one already! Josh and I watched it while I was in labor with Asher four years ago and we joked about how his coming hopefully wouldn't be a "failure to launch". Um, yeah. This is my blog. My name is ...

My Dr. prescribed me Omega 3 fish oil yesterday. 3 x a day. 1000 mg. Who would have thought? I'll let you know how it goes! This is my blog. My name is Megan Rose.

So, after a half hour nap, a frantic call to my Dr. for the third time that day and a smooth call to Josh and cleaning the kitchen and folding the kids laundry I slept through the night (mostly, woke up at 7:15 am and felt much better. That means I'm not too manic! Yay! If I can: 1. Keep the household running (doing dishes, laundry, picking up, fixing meals, etc.) 2. Get 6-8 hours of regular sleep at night. 3. Sit down to blog somewhat clearly and be aware of the state I am in. Then, yes. I am doing okay. And that is always a good thing. This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott. p.s. It's also wise to avoid caffeine when you are even slightly manic. I drank a Dr. Pepper on Monday (the first whole one in 14 years- that I can remember) and it didn't help the situation. At all.

Manic! No time to write! Gotta go! I'm definitely manic. Not manic as in nervous breakdown- I need to go to the hospital manic. Just the clean out the whole garage and the lazy suzan that has been unorganized for three years and talk up a storm and get nervous at night and wake up at 3:30 am manic. I haven't been exercising for three days and have been staying up a little later with company. That could have done it. The fact that I've reduced my lithium by 75% was the main factor. I guess life never goes how you plan. I'll most likely go back on the medicine. Hopefully not the Depakote- that one makes me sleep too heavy and I rarely dream. I have lots of extra lithium and am tempted to just start taking my normal dose again (1200 mg instead of 300 mg) but will have to call my Dr. first. Maybe I'll try reducing my medicine again in 3 months. When the kids aren't all at home keeping me busy (aka high stress situation). My Dr. said "When is your life not stre...

Kristen took this picture of me when I visited her last May. Thanks, Kristen! Here's what a manic Monday looks for me: Wake up, get the kids up and fed Make lunches, make sure Asher gets dressed, Start laundry, Shower, Read Book of Mormon for five minutes and write in journal. Check e-mail, Head to This is The Place Bookstore, in search of the New Testament Book of Mormon Reader since we just finished the Old Testament one. Get there at 9:20 after morning rush traffic. Discover it opens at 10 am. Walk over to the nearby nursery, browse and buy some peat pots, a shovel for Asher and bird seed. Head over to the little convenient store and buy a banana for Asher and a Moon Pie for me. Return to This is the Place and eat said banana and not-as-good-as-I-imagined-it Moon Pie. Browse Bookstore and pick up 2 birthday presents for the boys (savings banks), a dvd and no New Testament Readers- they were all sold out! Drive home and Asher falls asleep. It's 11 am. Aah! Phone Josh and tell...

I've been manic. My Counselor Joe told me to just enjoy it. Enjoy being happy and full of energy, as long it doesn't explode on me. Yesterday it exploded. I was so full of energy that I had to get out of the house. I had to. I had already bathed the kids (well half of them-Josh did the other half), made cinnamon rolls, went for a walk with the family and I was ready to get out! It was 11 am and there was an Open House for a home right next to the temple down in D.C. Now, we are not in the market for a home. Far from it. (Let's just say we bought our home in 2007 shall we?) But right after we moved here and I made a trip to the temple, I fell in love with five houses with a beautiful view of the temple. They are on a busy street, so not kid friendly but I was dying to see inside one of those homes! Especially after spending months looking for a home, these homes looked amazing! Long story short, I went- it was locked. I looked in the windows and in the back yard. I loved it,...

It's Josh's birthday on Friday. He turns 31! Just so you know! It's 89 degrees right now and will probably get to 97 degrees this afternoon! I feel peppy and happy! It may be the weather, or it may be a little bit of mania. Or it may be the dark chocolate, carmel filled giradhelli chocolate square I ate after lunch. Or maybe a combination of all three. I had three dr. visits in three days: Monday,-Dr. Kim,my psych for a check up and because I couldn't sleep for awhile there. Tuesday, OB. Wednesday-Joe, my counselor, who gives me wonderful counsel. I have been seeing him for a year and a half now and from now on will just call or e-mail him if I need anything. It's kind of sad to stop seeing him- I love going to counseling and just talking for an hour non stop to someone. From now on my journal will be the one I talk to. Plus, journaling is FREE. This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

Us- four years ago Yes, I may be a little manic, but not too bad. I talked with Joe, my counselor, today. He said to avoid all situations that are stimulating and cause me to be even more manic- i.e. shopping or places with lots of people. So that big trip to Wal-mart I planned for tonight? Not gonna happen. I'll have to buy Elizabeth a green shirt at oldnavy.com. So sad. This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.

I woke up Saturday morning to find a note under my door from Elizabeth. It read: " Mar. 6, 2010 Dear, Mom Asher's throut is feeling better. Because I handed him a glass of water. I am feeling much better. Exept I have a runny nose. I'm hope you are happy. :) I love you! Sincerly, Elizabeth and Asher me too! said Asher" So cute! Also, I was putting Asher to bed last night and gave him a kiss. He said "Oh, and one more thing Mom." What? I said "One more kiss" and he gave me a huge kiss. It was so sweet! I love that boy! This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott. p.s. manic update- I was awake every hour last night from 2 am on, but went right back to sleep. I read a study that says mania can often re-occur 3 months after stopping lithium. It's been 3 1/2 months. Hmmm...