Happiness

Looking forward to 2020, I picked the word Miraculous for my word of the Year. We have a beautiful little girl coming to our family in 2020. I’ve been waiting for her since October 2014 when we decided to try for another baby.  Oh, there have been many ups and downs- a foster care application and phone call and visit and emails. There have been positive pregnancy tests with no babies at the end. There have been prayers where I have given my will to the Lord- knowing His will is the best for our family. There have been times full of research and testing. And doubt.  And then there have been the Miracles. This baby coming so soon after we had lost a pregnancy. This baby being a girl after 4 precious boys. This baby coming at a time when we are financially secure with two jobs for my hard working husband. This baby coming at an age when it is so hard to conceive. I am grateful for this tiny, bony miracle that struggles for life within my womb. She is precious. The Lord...

Last week, Josh went on a business trip to New York City for a tech Conference. He wanted to take me with him, but since I am not quite eight months pregnant, we decided that that wouldn't be the best idea. And so he was off- for four days! Not long compared to other's business trips but long enough for us! I was bit worried because I had been so tired that around 4 pm I was done for the day.  I bought a few frozen meals and prepared just to wing it from 4 pm on. It was a blessing that I was totally fine! I was still tired, but not too badly. I had let Declan pick out the menu for each day of the week since he often complains about dinner (and then ends up eating it all). Lol! He didn't complain once that week and would often say "I know what's for dinner- it's ______." Of course, he picked all things that he likes (he doesn't like Chicken Noodle Soup or even Breakfast for dinner). While Josh was gone, the toilet overflowed. Ugh! This ...

In Church, we have been studying The Book of Mormon and Nephi's (a Prophet in the Americas) vision of the Tree of Life. Ok, it was Lehi's vision too. In it they eat the most wonderful tasting, beautiful fruit they have ever tasted before. They learn that it represents the Love of God.  I had an Epiphany last night! I realized that I don't have to be perfect to partake of the fruit and of God's love for me. I've always struggled with trying to be perfect, comparing my flaws with other people's strengths.  That can lead to Anxiety and Depression. No longer! I can imagine myself at the foot of the most beautiful, glowing, bright tree and taking a big bite of the fruit- like a pear- the juice running down my chin and onto my arms and off of my elbows- my tears mingling sweetly with the juices. I am so grateful for The Book of Mormon, for what it teaches me in my life at this time and for Lehi's and Nephi's Vision of the Tree of Life. I am t...

Last May, Jonah got braces. He has a bit of an overbite and a crossbite. He was totally find getting them- although they hurt for a few weeks! Elizabeth was also told she needed braces (overbite) but she didn't feel up to it and neither did our pocket book! This past week, we finally decided to do it! Josh has a second job which helps with such things like braces and band fees (and soon to be car insurance!). She looks super cute in them and she finally wanted them! It's been a good thing, even though it's a little bit uncomfortable for all involved!

Don't EVER let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. I had a doctor tell me that I was too old to have more children- at the age of 40. I mentioned that my Sister-in-Law had a baby at 43. She said that that was rare and an abnormality. I switched Dr's. My new Dr's wife was 40 and had just given birth to their 7th child. He happily wrote up some tests for us and was lovingly encouraging and helpful. Good doctor make such a great difference! We found out that we had some issues and it took us a good 16 months to work them out, but it worked! Some things I have noticed while being pregnant and {older}: -The chances of having twins are higher. This pregnancy started out early on as twins and one baby made it through.  - I get winded by just walking up the stairs and a day of subbing puts me out of commission not just for that day but for the day after as well! -If I walk longer than ten minutes, my belly starts to cramp. This never happened with my other babies an...

Snow in California over Christmas Break! From the 100th day of school a few weeks ago. Declan was acting a bit crazy, as he usually does after a 7 hour school day! Last night Declan woke up at 3 am with a growing pain. I was already awake- trying to get in a comfortable position (the third trimester is so hard for me!). He complained that he had a canker sore. I asked him if he wanted some water. He replied "Why? my leg hurts!" He was confused! I rolled on some Essential Oil that I keep nearby and cuddled up close. It eased my sleepless anxiety and I realized that I should come and cuddle more often when I wasn't feeling well. That boy is a ray of pure sunshine in my life! As are my other kids! He said to me "I am SO hungry!" "Me too, buddy" I said and we both got up and downed a bowl each of oatmeal- regular for me and the sugary packets for him that he loves. Then he said "I am a BIG fan of food!" "Me too, buddy!" So ar...

I’ve had a hard time throughout my life not comparing myself to others. When you grow up with a fraternal twin- someone who is your exact same age- that makes it easy to do. Lately, our financial situation has been pulling me down and I felt not enough. Not worthy enough to own a nice home or a nice car- just not enough. As I was focusing on those problems I began seeing problems pop up everywhere. After some free life coaching, the fog began to lift. I began to see my true value and worth not as a home or car owner but  as a Wife and Mother. I may not be making $1,000,000 a year or own a car that hasn’t broken down in a while. Those things won’t matter 100 years from now. What will matter is how I show up to my husband and kiddos. I have 5- almost 6- beautiful children and they are the jewels in my crown of life. They are so very precious to me and I feel honored to be their Mother. This morning Declan woke up early coughing and I climbed into bed with him. As I rolled ove...