Happiness

Looking forward to 2020, I picked the word Miraculous for my word of the Year. We have a beautiful little girl coming to our family in 2020. I’ve been waiting for her since October 2014 when we decided to try for another baby.  Oh, there have been many ups and downs- a foster care application and phone call and visit and emails. There have been positive pregnancy tests with no babies at the end. There have been prayers where I have given my will to the Lord- knowing His will is the best for our family. There have been times full of research and testing. And doubt.  And then there have been the Miracles. This baby coming so soon after we had lost a pregnancy. This baby being a girl after 4 precious boys. This baby coming at a time when we are financially secure with two jobs for my hard working husband. This baby coming at an age when it is so hard to conceive. I am grateful for this tiny, bony miracle that struggles for life within my womb. She is precious. The Lord...

Last week, Josh went on a business trip to New York City for a tech Conference. He wanted to take me with him, but since I am not quite eight months pregnant, we decided that that wouldn't be the best idea. And so he was off- for four days! Not long compared to other's business trips but long enough for us! I was bit worried because I had been so tired that around 4 pm I was done for the day.  I bought a few frozen meals and prepared just to wing it from 4 pm on. It was a blessing that I was totally fine! I was still tired, but not too badly. I had let Declan pick out the menu for each day of the week since he often complains about dinner (and then ends up eating it all). Lol! He didn't complain once that week and would often say "I know what's for dinner- it's ______." Of course, he picked all things that he likes (he doesn't like Chicken Noodle Soup or even Breakfast for dinner). While Josh was gone, the toilet overflowed. Ugh! This ...

In Church, we have been studying The Book of Mormon and Nephi's (a Prophet in the Americas) vision of the Tree of Life. Ok, it was Lehi's vision too. In it they eat the most wonderful tasting, beautiful fruit they have ever tasted before. They learn that it represents the Love of God.  I had an Epiphany last night! I realized that I don't have to be perfect to partake of the fruit and of God's love for me. I've always struggled with trying to be perfect, comparing my flaws with other people's strengths.  That can lead to Anxiety and Depression. No longer! I can imagine myself at the foot of the most beautiful, glowing, bright tree and taking a big bite of the fruit- like a pear- the juice running down my chin and onto my arms and off of my elbows- my tears mingling sweetly with the juices. I am so grateful for The Book of Mormon, for what it teaches me in my life at this time and for Lehi's and Nephi's Vision of the Tree of Life. I am t...