For those of you who don't know, I go to Counseling through LDS family services down in Silver Spring, MD, every other week. This past week I went and was thoroughly uplifted and strengthened. I would like to share with you what I learned.
Counseling Session #8
Defining Boundaries in Relationships
1. Know what you want (this has always been hard for me to do, even though it's the first step!)
2. Set your boundaries.
3. State your boundaries again.
4. Reassess if needed.
Example:
1. I would like Josh to do the dishes once a week.
2. I tell Josh (sound good, Josh?)
3. If Josh forgets that Sunday is his day to do dishes, I say "Hey, did you remember that today is your day to do the dishes? Or something loving like that. This is the step I most hate and thus lots of my boundaries get forgotten and lost.
4. Reassess. If it is not working out, or not what I like, we can change the day to Saturday or to twice a month. Whatever. As long as I feel that my boundaries are not being crossed.
We all have roles in our lives: Wives, Mothers, Sisters, Fathers, Brothers. We can set boundaries in each relationship about what we want.
How do we feel we can be the best Mother/wife/daughter? We set the boundaries based on what we feel is the best way we can fulfill our role. Sometimes our idea of a role is too much. "A good wife should always do the dishes." I don't feel this way, but it is an example of something that is extreme and we should re-evaluate the way we see the role of a wife, etc. "A good wife never speaks back, speaks out, etc." We need to know where the balance of things are in our lives.
I've learned that it's good to give of my time, but I also need to set a boundary for when I need time to myself.
This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.
Counseling Session #8
Defining Boundaries in Relationships
1. Know what you want (this has always been hard for me to do, even though it's the first step!)
2. Set your boundaries.
3. State your boundaries again.
4. Reassess if needed.
Example:
1. I would like Josh to do the dishes once a week.
2. I tell Josh (sound good, Josh?)
3. If Josh forgets that Sunday is his day to do dishes, I say "Hey, did you remember that today is your day to do the dishes? Or something loving like that. This is the step I most hate and thus lots of my boundaries get forgotten and lost.
4. Reassess. If it is not working out, or not what I like, we can change the day to Saturday or to twice a month. Whatever. As long as I feel that my boundaries are not being crossed.
We all have roles in our lives: Wives, Mothers, Sisters, Fathers, Brothers. We can set boundaries in each relationship about what we want.
How do we feel we can be the best Mother/wife/daughter? We set the boundaries based on what we feel is the best way we can fulfill our role. Sometimes our idea of a role is too much. "A good wife should always do the dishes." I don't feel this way, but it is an example of something that is extreme and we should re-evaluate the way we see the role of a wife, etc. "A good wife never speaks back, speaks out, etc." We need to know where the balance of things are in our lives.
I've learned that it's good to give of my time, but I also need to set a boundary for when I need time to myself.
This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.
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