A couple of weeks ago, Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Seventy and an Apostle of the Lord, gave a talk to the Youth of our Church. It was posted online and Josh and I watched a copy of it. Elder Bednar quoted Elder Maxwell when he said "It was better not to shrink than to survive..." speaking of his bout with Cancer.
Tuesday, while driving home from the dentist, with a pain in two teeth, and a possible estimate for 2 root canals and 2 crowns (the price of which would deplete our savings), I began to think of this talk.
I was very disheartened.
And just like when a few bad things happen to you in a row and you start to think you are having a bad day, I began to crumble, just slightly. And the words "I will not shrink" pressed into my mind.
I will not shrink from getting two root canals if I need them (I got one yesterday).
And I went on from there:
I will not shrink from not getting pregnant (a bitter, sour cup) and will meet with our Foster/Adoption Case Worker next Tuesday.
I will not shrink from working on short selling our home even though we now know we need a lot higher offer for the bank to approve and it will most likely go back on the market (after a year and a half).
I will not run away screaming- emotionally, physically or mentally.
I will not shrink from both Ethan and Jonah (and Josh) having ADD and get them the help they need.
And most of all, I will not shrink from my Father in Heaven. There is no "pavilion" that is covering my head and hiding me from Him. He knows me. He has been there for me and He is still there for me, as close as He can be.
Because not shrinking is a lot better than just surviving. There are things that Heavenly Father wants us to learn. Character Traits to be etched in our souls. Understanding given to our eyes. Patience and Endurance added to our souls. "And when you have endured all these things, I will exalt thee on High." D&C
We cannot expect to gain a place in Heaven, without going through trials here on Earth to strengthen and to teach us."What is to give light must endure burning." Victor E. Frankl. I write these words as a reminder to myself when I am challenged beyond what I think I can endure. I can read this post and remember. Remember to not shrink, to be present and to learn all there is to learn.
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