September 28, 2011

Grumpy Day!

Ok. I probably shouldn't even being writing when I am this grumpy, but maybe it will make me feel better. I had a long night last night- filled with dream after dream. In one dream, a huge 30 foot wave was coming at me and I waited and waited for it to crash right on the top of my head. I woke up before it actually hit.

I think this means I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the whole job situation. Overwhelmed that our money never seems to stretch as far I thought it would - that new and little things keep popping up that I never even anticipated. Overwhelmed with four little school schedules and homework that each need my complete attention for 30 minutes a day- all while I'm trying to get dinner ready.

Aahh! Just thinking about it makes me stressed. And I've realized that while I used to handle all that kind of stress before and love it. Ok, maybe totally love it. My bipolar does not like it. One bit. It stresses too and flares up like no ones business. It makes me want to go on a shopping spree to Down East Outfitters and finally buy that one cute top. Even though I've hit my budget. And past it.

It makes me what to lay in bed and just look at the ceiling fan and hope that the wave doesn't come crashing down on me again at 3:30 pm.

BUT, I have learned that if I sit and be passive, that won't help. So, here I am. Blogging. I need to see a therapist and talk it all out, but it's not doable. So, Mr. Therapist Blog, that's how I'm feeling today on this Wednesday morning.

This is my blog. My name is Megan Abbott.


kristen said...

I hope that your day got better. I hate days that start out like that! Maybe it would help if you had a project that you were excited about that did not take any money. I am always happier when I have something to look forward to that I enjoy doing - even during the hard times. we love you guys and are rooting for you!

Joanie said...

Slow me down Lord and ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind.

Megan....all mothers of 4 school aged kids so close together feel like this. You will figure out a are creative...hang in there...Love, Mom