August 21, 2011

On Mothering

Artwork by Elizabeth Abbott, 3rd grade

I had a bad Mothering moment yesterday. Josh had been really busy for the past two days, so I had been doing most, ok- all of the child care- and when he was done, I let him take a long, long nap. I napped too, since I didn't sleep well last night, and when I woke up boy, was I grumpy. I had a snack and tried to wake myself up. The kids had been watching tv- something they have been doing a lot lately with temps over 105 degrees and me unpacking boxes- so when they saw me, they were starved for attention. "What can we do now Mom?" Ethan questioned and questioned. I tried the "Watch tv" again. No luck. They had a snack. And another snack of homemade Popsicle. I tried to have some quiet alone time while I woke up. No go.

I was on the computer and Elizabeth was bouncing on a huge green ball next to me just chatting and chatting. Ethan had just knocked the ball into a lamp and the bouncing was making me tense. She mentioned she just had two granola bars and somehow that made me upset. I remembered the homework she was working on and asked her to show it to me. She did and it was written in pen, with words added here and there and some scratched out. This was her first big assignment at her new school.

The perfectionist in me just freaked out. I freaked out. I was seeing red. I yelled. All because of a granola bar and a homework assignment written in pen. I apologized, tried to wake up Josh and gave myself a time out. When I was calm, I came downstairs and told Elizabeth how much I loved her and how sorry I was.

And then I picked up her homework and read it. Actually read it this time. It was beautiful and touching. She was supposed to make a doll of herself and write a paragraph describing herself. I have a beautiful daughter. She wrote that she loves music (really, she does! I often catch her dancing in her underwear in her room) and that she "loves her Moms cooking and having fun with her brothers." My heart just melted. I am proud to be her Mom.

And hopefully next time, I will show more patience. I will look beyond the spelling errors and the incorrect grammar and see into the sweet heart of this child of mine. How blessed I am to be a Mother and to have this sweet girl in my life. Thank you, Elizabeth, for being so willing to forgive me. I love you!

This is my blog. My name is Megan A.

3 comments:

Joanie said...

Dad and I think that Elizabeth's self portrait is REALLY good. She looks like Elizabeth! The lips, the round head,..the eyes. Elizabeth has captured herself! Elizabeth is like a professional artist...we mean...that is GOOD! She should be in a special art class, don't you think?

Joanie said...

Regarding your "bad mothering" moment...we all, as mothers, have those moments! You repented right away. And so you will be stronger next time. Seriously, fatigue (and overstimulation) is a mother's greatest challenge. The solution is scheduling, balance and a "go with the flow, enjoy every moment" attitude. You are doing a great job considering the extreme stress of your life lately! Love ya! mom

Larissa said...

What a great doll of Elizabeth - yes looks just like her! Yes we all have those moments when the kids wear on us and it is hard to stop and breathe...Glad kids are so quick to forgive and forget!