a bald, blurry Ethan
since I mentioned the word "baby" on here. It's Saturday and normally I don't blog on Saturday, but I've found myself with an open, lazy morning and thoughts buzzing around in my head and here I am.
Last night I went to a Relief Society Activity- a service auction. These activities used to be called Enrichment or even before that Homemaking. Now they just call them activities. So, there you go. At the service auction I won a totally awesome item, but I cannot mention it here as I am still deciding if I should gift it as a Christmas present. It was totally fun! I loved it!
I also met a beautiful new Mom who is a friend of one of the ladies in our ward. I was immediately drawn to her as she was carrying a small little baby car seat holding a tiny pink bundle. I introduced myself and coo-ed at the cuteness of her sweet little 6 week old. We exchanged info about ourselves and she told me that she was returning to work in 2 weeks and was looking for a stay at home Mom to watch her baby two days of the week.
I thought of me- in a quiet house, holding the baby while she slept: a vision of pure bliss floating before me and before I knew it I proclaimed: "I would be interested in doing that!! Let me talk to my husband first."
As I drove home that night, another vision came to my mind: Me toting the car seat with said baby to and from Asher's preschool at 1 pm and then to and from the kids' school to pick them up at 3 pm. Me rocking the baby up and down while I helped Elizabeth, Ethan, Jonah and Asher all do their homework at the same time at 3:30 pm.
That's when I knew it wasn't meant to be. I want a baby. More than I've ever wanted one before. I know that I have four beautiful children but some days my arms just ache for a warm, heavenly bundle. So, for right now, I will be going over to a friend's house and holding her bundle for an hour or two and giving it back when it' s time and making that hour last me for a good while.
This is my blog. My name is Megan A.
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